worthless degree

It's time for another venting session. I've hinted at this topic before in a couple posts, but it's been on my mind once again.

Honestly, I'm not sure how really to express this, but the idea that keeps going on in my mind is that I have just spent a lot of time and money to get a worthless degree. All told, I have spent 7 years of my life studying Bible and theology only to come out on the other end and realize that no one really cares.

I have this romantic notion that people will come to me and say, "Hey, I can't figure out this thing I read in the Bible. What do you think?" I guess I thought that at some point, people would want to know some of the stuff I've spent years learning.

But the reality seems to be that no one cares. In fact, most people, when they learn you have a seminary education, just want to argue with you or prove you wrong.

My wife seems to have the opposite problem. She has multiple degrees in the field of Psychology, and people usually approach her hoping she will diagnose them or a friend. Most people see her as somewhat of an expert, and they want to know what she thinks.

I find the opposite to be true. Some people look at me and my seminarian friends, think that we consider ourselves to be experts, and proceed to tell us what they think. It's like, "Oh, you have a degree in Theology, do you? Well, here's why you're wrong..." Maybe that's overstating it. It's not always that obvious. But I do feel a general sense of hostility from the Church world toward people who have seminary degrees. In fact, a pastor recently told me that he would prefer to not hire a seminarian at his church. What?!?! Isn't that why we go to seminary? To be better at church work?

I'm going to keep going here... sorry if this is getting long.

I think the problem is this: Pastors think seminarians are bitter and jaded because of the intense scholarship they encounter. But the reality might be that seminarians become bitter and jaded because all they want to do is share what they've learned with others, but those "others" don't want to hear it. In one sense, it seems that pastors are a little threatened by seminarians. And why wouldn't that make a seminarian bitter and jaded? The very institution they want to serve with their newfound knowledge rejects them.

Those who know me can probably see right through this rant. They see what motivates me to write what I write... so be it. I can't help that. I started this process many years ago to be a better pastor and help other pastors become better pastors. Here I sit on the other side of some painful rejection that makes me doubt I made the right decision.

I have no positive ending to this post. Call it a lament, I guess.

update: I need to add a few more thoughts. First, I love Fuller Seminary. I would not trade my degree for anything. I'm proud of myself for completing it, and I think it is incredibly important for anyone wanting to work in the church world to have such a degree. This leads into the second thing: There is a paradox about all of this. I truly believe people working with the Bible and theology need to be trained. At the same time, it seems that people really don't care if you're trained. To me, that is just an impossible paradox that I can't reconcile and still don't know how to approach.